Dear Livid
This is what i imagine the voice over would say in your True Hollywood Stories.
From Liverpule to Hollywood. She turned Dog Rough into Divine Radiance.
Since birth, Olivia has been in the spotlight. She was the the original choice for JonBenet Ramsey but due to the strikes, she couldn’t find a donkey in time to travel over from Pakistan, where she went to fulfill the arranged marriage, arranged for her and the groom took one look at her and said 'Nah fvk that'!
She has lived her life like a Candle in the wind which inspired the Elton John song… ‘Candle in the Wind’.
From her love life which inspired the Academy Award decorated legend movie director Steven Spielberg to make the film “My Alcoholic Gay Ex”, to her tumultuous friendship with Aaron which was adapted for a chain of Novels by Danielle Steel and later on made into a TV series Called “You two Faced Bitch” that span for a staggering 27 seasons, she has lived her life in front of the world for us to see and it’s been fucking entertaining.
Now, in her later days, she lives in a small town called Doggington where there are other dogs for her to play with.
She works part time as a tv extra by day, and event dodger by night. She’s been known to turn up to the opening of an envelope but not to YDSA which originally catapulted her into stardom and thrusted her into the spotlight. Not long after her YDSA004 campaign she left Manchester for the bright lights of Hollywood.
Becoming the Largest consumer of Mcat she describes it as “My Party, My Anthem, My Love, My Pleasure”.
We visit het in the Asylum and sit down with her to discuss where it all went wrong.
THIS is the Ride and Downfall of OBLIVIOUS OLIVIA AHMED!
Love you and happy birthday
ALI
x
To Liv,
You're now a flirty, dirty thirty year old. And I hope you have the flirtiest and dirtiest of 30th's that a girl could ever have. I will make sure to bring my shit-stirring spoon and we can stir up some amazing memories.
Happy birthday and welcome to the 30's club. It sags from here on out.
Will x
This girl is on fire
Fire tits galore
The year of dirty 30
oblivion gimme more
Fiercest Lines in the bizz
I ain’t talking bout whizz
Happy 30th birthday you amazing human
Lots of love
Morgan
xx
Happy 30th birthday Liv
I’ll never forget our Kiki and Void days, they will always be my favourite memories we have.
Can’t believe we entering our thirties together! I’m so proud of everything you’re achieving at the moment.
I know we’ll be bezzies for life. Lots of love
Billy xxx
H
HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY LIVVY GUSH.
Honestly had some of the best times with you from working crucifixion, the countless crazy parties, to being your dresser at tooty booty and xtravaganza!!
It's been unforgettable, absolutely mad and I can't wait for everything else to come.
So much love, hope you have the best day ever from Heroin...because you couldn't possibly call me anything else!! Xxxx
Ruairi
Happy Birthday gorgeous my scouse queen, my 90s club classic diva, the patron saint of St John’s market.
I love you immensely and will never forget the time you vomited and pissed yourself at the same time. Stay classy, love you.
Ruairi
x
To my little Blivian!
Before I met you, my life was fine. 😂
But bitch I hope you have the best Birthday!
You’ve absolutely smashed your 20’s so who knows what’s next?! World Domination?
Bad Romance Dance Pt. 2?
A duet with Ciara?!
Gosh!!! I can’t wait to see!!
You will always be my favourite Mulan / Ket Fairy / Life GUIDE YA and sister!
Love you very much!
Ryan from the Army!
X
RYAN FROM THE ARMEH
'NOBODY TOSSES A DWARF'
Jonathan x
Hi liv,
When I first met you almost 8 years ago I didn’t particularly like you ;)
But with every time we met my fondness of you grew and you now bring so much light to my life every time I see you.
You are truly such a great friend to everyone, we are all so lucky to know you. I adore you.
Love Stephen
x
Liv,
You are just one of those people you feel you can be your true self around. You have the most genuine, beautiful soul and everyone that knows you,
feels lucky to have you in their life. My favourite memory although there are many (including Ibiza gal photoshoot) is going to yours and you cooking us a banging pasta and we just laughed for hours and drank wine.
You are an absolute beaut of a human and I can’t wait to celebrate with you properly when I see you.
Love you the world my darling,
Kel
x
Hello my darling,
Thank you for sorting this, it's honestly such a fab idea, here's my little message,
My darling mon wiffery mon woo, there are but no words to say how much I love you…but, I’m gonna give it my very best Shakespearian go…you hold the official position as one of my oldest friends, a near decade has passed since we first serious face danced to the forever classic Gordon’s groove. We have travelled far and wide, got into very odd situations (I.e. keeping this SFW, but that guy we visited in Barca).
You witnessed the birth of Julie, you christened the 1 to Boris like the good wiffery you are, you proved you have the toughest fire tits going, you was forever by my side when we’d have to go to the shops…oh we have laughed, danced, smoked a million cigs, laughed some more and cried tears of all emotions. So many memories, they could tell a tale that the kids of today could just never!!
My darling you have grown into a beautiful, daring and ambitious woman who has without doubt one of the most pure hearts and loving souls that I’ve ever had the good fortune to meet, let alone call family.
You are and forever always will be my fabulous Mon Wiffery Mon woo and I bloody hope you have the most amazing 30th celebrations.
All my special love…Julie of Andrews, Barm of Stien, recruiter of Isla and fellow Mon Wiffery ❤️ xxxxx"
Hope that's all ok me dear
Love ya xx
Julie
To Olivia,
In the realm of fabulousness, behold our Liv,
a sparkling soul with flair, and lots of love to give
At thirty years young, a journey unfolds,
a unicorn's spirit, breaking all molds
A gay man's essence, in a woman's form,
Breaking the rules, defying the norm
In a world that tries to confine and define,
Liv struts the runway, fierce and divine
As Rupaul would say, "Sashay, shante, you stay,"
Embracing themselves, every step of the way
With charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent,
Liv's shining bright, no challenge too gallant
A queen trapped within, they rise like a star,
Serving realness and love, both near and afar
So, "Don't be sorry, be fabulous," I decree,
Happy birthday, Liv, with love and glee!
Keep sashaying through life, with a laughter so loud,
You better werk! - make us so proud!
Welcome to you 30's buttercup,
Now don't fuck - it - up!
Liv, Laf, Luv you
Kyle
xxx
Dan
Love you suga tits! The apple of my eye, the syn in my life the 1.fun of every party.
Dx
Kye
Can we finally shag tonight?
Lewis
Favourite liv Memory:
I don’t think I was there for the OG peanut butter tits but I remember so many laughs and recreations about at one of the many parties at Advent House.
Happy 30th Liv! Lots of love, Lewis.
Jojo
My younger older sister,
I love you with all my heart.
I love you even though you always burp and fart.
Thank you for being so amazing Olivia, and Happy Fucking 30th babeh! ❤️
Happy 30th Birthday Livid
Hope you have the best weekend you absolute gem. In for a penny, in for a mound!
Hope you’ve got your weapon of expression ready.
Love Theo x